Why I’m sex-positive (and why you should care)

The first time I heard the term sex-positive I didn’t really understand what it meant. “Sex is good, therefore sex is positive”, I thought, and that seemed to make enough sense for me to nod my head and say yes. That was a long time ago and at that time I wasn’t even thinking of making my own films.

Today, I don’t think there’s a more representative term to describe my interest in the industry. It turns out sex-positive is so much more than acknowledging sex as a good thing. It speaks about the importance of accepting sex as part of the daily life, and as something that actually shapes people’s relationships and self esteem.

In short, “sex-positive” refers to a movement that embraces sexuality as healthy and pleasurable as long as it’s safe, and consensual. To feel good about your own pleasure. It respects our unique sexual profiles at the same time as it fights the dinosauric education that keeps damaging and ignoring sexual differences.

Why I’m sex positive (and why you should care). NEW post on the blog.

Una publicación compartida de Noel Alejandro (@noelalejandrox) el

Is sex-positiveness present in my work?

Yes, at every second of it. When I shoot a porn scene, in my head I’m thinking “how can this be THE most hot and pleasing experience?” And that’s not because I want you to buy it (of course that too, as I film for a living). But mostly because I want every gay men (and women and queers and everyone that’s out there) to be able to have something beautiful and relatable for them to feel aroused with. Something that evokes pleasure and self discovery, and give them ideas to make their sex lives better in the real world (be that through good self love, or as a couple, or in an orgy, or however their dirty minds take them to).

Also, because I feel the need to fight against this type of nonsense that tends to think that sex-workers (and everyone who is sex-positive, basically) have no idea of what they’re doing, and that everyone in the porn industry got “trapped” here for money and can’t never leave because they ain’t no good for anything else. Oh please shut up. Many of the people (performers, producers, directors) I’ve worked with in the indie porn production are the brightest and more eloquent people I know. There’s some serious thinking behind everything we do, just like there’s some serious sex-positiveness behind every one of my scripts.

The majority of mainstream porn that is online suck big time (in the bad way), but that should be no reason for sexuality as a whole to be hidden and locked behind misrepresented concepts. A lot – a lot! – of the best things in the world happen during sex (intimacy, pleasure, body fullness, orgasms for christ’s sake!). All we have to do is to leave behind all the hypermuscularity and sloppy contexts of shitty pornography and put on our best “I enjoy a good fuck” t-shirts.

In this article on how sex positive transgender porn is helping people there’s a particularly good quote that sums up everything:

“There is currently no other format where we can privately explore such diverse bodies and sexuality, porn has the potential to bring up both questions and answers about our own identify. If we can view it as a starting point for discussion, it might uncover aspects of our desire and identities we were too afraid to examine otherwise. Be a conscious consumer and find porn you like. Do as much research as you need to feel good about what you’re watching. Whether it’s porn that reflects your own identify or not, be an active participant in your own self-reflection around it.”

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