The other day I was scrolling down Facebook when I ran into this Buzzfeed article asking what things from gay porn annoyed me the most, and I realized it was time to break free from all my inner hate. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy other gay porn than mine, but have directors never heard of lube before?
So here we go:
When the actors suddenly make eye contact with the camera and you feel weird as fuck.
When they know each other for half a second and jump straight into it using no lube at all. Like, that’s gotta hurt.
When actors would have sex in any given position, would make all the pleasure faces that a human being is capable of, but still won’t kiss or show any sort of affection.
Or when the editors add some random soundtrack that has nothing to do with the story, and it’s just there to avoid some uncomfortable silence. By the way, silence in pornos are almost always mind blowing.
Everyone is always wearing some Italian underwear.
Actually, there’s always something Italian in every mainstream gay porno. What is that even about?
Actors who look more like sex machines than human beings. I’d much rather see some vulnerable, imperfect characters, instead of a sex god who is as deep a leaf.
“seriously, what’s this all about?”
Flat light. That white flat light showing each and every muscle in their bodies, but that makes the whole thing feel like we’re all inside a dentist’s office. Who the hell is turned on by that?
Pierre Emö and Bishop Black’s performance is being edited and will be available in a few weeks. In the meanwhile, check all my other films here.
Ricardo –
I totally agree with you about flat light. It´s irritating to see everything so lighty in most of the gay porn movies. It breaks the environment of sex and romance. Also another thing that irritates is the fake moans like DB said. Every 3 seconds they shout the same word in the same tone.
Haroldo Nobre –
Today I discovered one of your films (Doing Elliot) and I became fascinated from the first minute with the photography and the direction. The cuts, the sequences, the positions that people actually do (none of those geometric positions)… anyway, almost everything perfect. However, I never understand why in most gay porn movies kissing is fake. In this movie the kissing performance was good somehow, without those nasty clicks. But, I must insist, why not true kisses? Apart this small detail the film is superb … perfect! Congratulations!
Identitystakes –
My pet peeve is unnatural transitions: now we’ll do this position, now we’re gonna do this position, etc., especially when it’s the same fucking routine as always: make out, undress, blow job, rim job, doggy, missionary. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks this is good sex. Thanks for making films that show what good sex is all about!
Jamison –
Your videos are beautiful. I would much rather see less than perfect bodies with real gay men and real chemistry. (And who knew? Men have body hair) Other thing Id add to this list is the magically appearing condom. If you want to showcase safer sex, great! But you should be clever enough to be able to show an erotic scene where a condom is put on. Like it or not, many people do learn about sexuality through porn – Why not show them how putting on a condom can be done erotically and be part of sex play
DB –
What I hate most: really loud, obviously fake moans
Are they having sex or are they pulling weights in the gym?
oh, and the absolute worst: porn actors that cry “oh yeah” every 5 seconds for the whole duration of the film
[email protected] –
I really hate gay for pay porn. Please don’t use straight actors Faking It