On “Asphyxia”: Kinks help us cope with the world

I wrote “Asphyxia” as a way of representing our search for what makes us feel truly alive, the quest for adrenaline, the rush.

Almost a year ago, the world entered this very bizarre period where most of us leave our houses only for short walks, get groceries, or meet uncomfortably with a friend in the middle of the street. To say this year has taken so much of our humanity isn’t an exaggeration. The sociability aspects of being alive, the experience of culture in the museums or movie theatres, the close contact with people, the energy of dancing at a club are all critical dimensions of ourselves as beings. Being deprived of all these beautiful experiences is almost akin to losing a sense of aliveness.

I wrote “Asphyxia” as a way of facing these issues and represent our (and the character’s) search for what makes us feel truly alive, the quest for adrenaline, the rush. 

Sex has always been one of the most powerful practices to reconnect oneself to existence and to others. It’s a marvellous thing that we can feel pleasure, yet, so much of society (and this virus) impedes us from truly giving in ourselves to joy. Epicurus wrote taught that the goal of humanity is the pursuit of pleasure. So why do we deny it? Allowing ourselves to break the rules from time to time is as healthy as a bio smoothie made of damned quinoa!

Allowing ourselves to break the rules from time to time is as healthy as a bio smoothie made of damned quinoa!

Society has imposed norms about proper, decent behaviour based on fearmongering ideas and draconic practices associated with religion. Guilt, and atonement from it, are now the driving forces. But sex can’t be extinguished from humanity because it’s part of the natural fabric. So, sex became the de facto anti-system tool. A brick that can be thrown against this establishment of perpetual guilt. That, I’d argue, is why kinks are so fundamental in people’s sexual lives; they are tools to help us cope with the world. The more the societal noose tightens, the more liberating and risque our sexual and escapistic practices are. 

Chris is not unlike most of us. Walking around, not mindful or present, wandering through life, lost, looking for love and affection.

The practice of erotic asphyxiation spoke to me for being something that is simultanously capable of granting immeasurable pleasure and capable of swiftly taking us out. Chris, the main character in “Asphyxia” feels that disconnection with his humanity. -Usually, I try to make sure my characters have a rich backstory, with flesh out motivations for their actions. Still, this time around I wanted this character to be a metaphor for how we feel and cope with detachment. He may be tired or depressed or merely disappointed. Maybe even bored with his life. It’s really up to you to fill in the blank with your assumptions.-  Then, the chase for the thrill begins. Since Chris can’t find what he is searching for by himself, he wants to be pushed further, made to feel something by someone. This character is not unlike most of us. Walking around, not mindful or present, wandering through life, lost, looking for love and affection.

The practice of erotic asphyxiation spoke to me for being something that is simultanously capable of granting immeasurable pleasure and capable of swiftly taking us out.

More and more, I see us requiring our own “asphyxiation” practices to preserve sanity. The more society pressures us, the more we rebel against the system and fight for acceptance. Our bodies, feelings, and desires are some of the main things that classify us as humans; sex is the key and the lock. The more we are prohibited from entering that door, the more we rebel against it.

Despite what we were thought on these religious occidental worlds there’s redemption in pleasure. Whether it is to smoke weed after work, drink a glass of wine before bed, indulge in your favourite meal, or having rough kinky sex with a stranger. As long as we are grounded, know our own limits, and strive to make explorative choices (rather than self-destructive ones), we shouldn’t be afraid of seeking satisfaction.

 

Kinks are so fundamental in people’s sexual lives; they are tools to help us cope with the world.

I wanted “Asphyxia” to be such a critique of society’s constraints to the point of literally sucking the breath of our lungs. A metaphor for our power to break those shackles and free ourselves from what is or isn’t deemed acceptable. I hope you enjoy the film and the marvellous chemistry of actors Isaak Rion and Rufus Bright. I look forward to hearing from you on my Twitter and Instagram, as well as the comment section on my website!

It’s also been a year since I started “Bedtime Stories“. I released “Minha Luta“, a film about grief, heartbreak and love. Looking back, I am very proud of the stories and encounters I was able to paint over the six entries in this collection. I am energized for a year filled with even more content and meaningful, empowering stories.

I am currently in Barcelona, Spain, and I am looking to produce the next set of shorts soon, so if you are in the area and interested in acting or collaborating in my films, please email me at [email protected]. 

Thank you all for the support, stay safe!

Noel